Remember Afrobella’s words of wisdom? You know. From a few posts ago…
These days–for reasons that I don’t care to get into–I know that on some level I’m supposed to be preoccupied with my “brand”. I’ve tried picking a photo of myself and sticking it on every social media site that I own. However, lately something’s come over me.
I don’t want the life that I live to be all about me.
…This feeling has come at an interesting time. In spite of this sudden desire for modesty, lately I feel as though I’ve been learning to truly appreciate myself.
Yet not too long ago I was looking at one of my pics. And I couldn’t stand seeing it.
I know what I look like. My friends have seen me before.
Maybe it was the shot.
Who knows?
But there’s a fine line between subtle self-promotion and being self-serving. And I intend to figure it out.
Today is “Let’s Talk” day. Bell Canada is giving 5 cents to mental health initiatives nationwide for–among other things–every tweet using the hashtag #BellLetsTalk. Check out their campaign’s web site for further details.
Their tweets have appeared more than once in my timeline, and I’ve retweeted messages as I see fit. I’ve even tweeted a couple of my own.
Yet I’ll admit something. Even though I support the cause, I cringe over the phrase “mental illness”. (It’s a bias of mine, but it’s there.) I believe I resist mainly because of the misconceptions attached to the phrase. Furthermore, in my head there’s still a difference between a person needing help with their mental health, and them having a (serious) mental illness. Both issues obviously relate to each other. Yet I’m concerned that generally speaking, the idea of preserving a person’s mental health is overlooked.
Instead, I tend to talk about “mental health” and place it on the same plane as our physical well-being–underestimated, yet essential.
The fact is, though, that some people reject the idea of seeking therapy for the very same thing that I’m guilty of–the assumptions surrounding the word. They may believe that time in a counselor’s office belongs to folks with big-name illnesses such as schizophrenia. They might think that taking care of one’s mental health is tantamount to admitting that they’re “crazy”. However, those who subscribe to these beliefs often fail to consider people who struggle in quiet ways. Some of us may have anxiety-based issues, or may still bear scars from a tragedy that we experienced ages ago.
The expectation of invincibility needs to end. We are all vulnerable in different ways. Some more than others.
And there is nothing wrong with admitting that you might need a little help.
After a bit of mental wrestling, the following came to me. It’s obvious advice, I know. But still…Worth remembering.
Although it often feels like it, life is not a popularity contest. Don’t waste time feeling that you have to diminish yourself in order to fit into someone else’s mold.
That image is from a screenshot of Danielle’s site. You can read her entire post here.
I tell ya. I’ve been looking for ways to break out of my shell. One of the things that’s kept me from making more videos and podcasts is the fact that I’m often socially awkward. I’m definitely afraid of public speaking, or speaking up in general.
(If we’re friends IRL, then bless you. You’re one of the few people that I feel truly comfortable communicating with. Because otherwise, I think I’m a disaster.)
I’ve been thinking about how to do a better job of getting my point across. Friends like Lisa know my struggle. A little while ago she sent me this awesome blog post.
The point is that I know I need to do a better job of expressing myself. I’m over 30, and I’m tired of being bound by self-imposed chains.
That’s why I’m glad that Danielle always keeps it real on her blog.
The other day in my inbox I received a bulletin for…I think they called it a confidence seminar. I can’t remember the exact cost. But believe me when I tell you that it was over $100 per ticket.
(I don’t mean to disrespect people who need to attend these type of events. I mean, honestly. I’m a part of their target audience.)
But you know what’s a whole lot cheaper than a seminar?
PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE.
Get out of the house. Force yourself to socialize with people. Look at your community’s events calendar. Find groups of folks who are getting together and doing activities that interest you.
I’ve started going to church again. And I’m not going to lie. While the the spiritual aspects touch me, I really could use the social interaction.
Overall, though, I don’t mean to be disrespectful. There are people who need a mental awakening in order to improve their mental health.
Interestingly enough, I grew up in a denomination whose forefathers frowned on psychology. To this day I wonder why. The fact is that some people need prompting from others in order to see their circumstances clearly. At the same time, I think that we humans need to be careful. Many of us have become a little too addicted to turning to others to solve our problems.
That’s why I think it’s important to proceed with caution. Quite often people can improve themselves simply by tweaking their routines and stepping outside of the box.
If writing really is my thing, shouldn’t I be posting more often?
Last weekend I had a blast. I was all set to share my adventures and then…Next to nada. Barely a peep.
But I tweeted like a mofo–if anyone actually cares.
In the meantime, I’ve been concerned about how I’ve been using my time. I have important things to do, and I’ve been procrastinating…
Interestingly enough, recently someone in my feed mentioned a quote that said something like “perfectionism leads to procrastination…”
I need to get past being obsessed with perfection. It’s all too easy to let fear stop you in your tracks. Instead, I’m going to hone in on authenticity. Everything else is bound to follow.
They say “if you want different results, you’ve got to do different things”.
I’m feeling the weight of those words lately. I keep asking myself why I’ve been doing the same things, when I want different results.
And so, after being told so in infinite variations over numerous years, I’m attempting to live it.
Years ago I named my blog “claireshegoes” purely for fun. Now, I can’t help but think that it has to mean something.
I want to get into sharing personal media with the world. But it’s been rough.
I had to send my first podcast episode to a friend. I couldn’t bear to hear my own voice.
With the second episode, I listened to myself. But I cringed like crazy. And then there was the editing process. Due to procrastination, it took a lot longer than I wanted it to.
Plus, I didn’t have as much fun putting my show together as I think I could have. I really want to get into podcasting. I want to produce quality audio, and enjoy myself while doing it.
But in the meantime, what’s going on?
Am I afraid of what’s going to happen if I really step up and stick my neck out?
I think so. But you know what the song says.
You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.
While job hunting, you’ll undoubtedly hear about things such as elevator pitches. In this era of social media, you’ll probably be told about personal branding. I have winced more than once as I’ve been told about about being able to summarize myself in 30-seconds-or-less. Who wants to work on those things, right? Who wants to think of him or herself as a product?
On one hand, I can relate. I don’t particularly care for the fact that we live in an era of human commodification.
On the other hand, personal branding marketing can be useful. It’s a bit easier to clarify your purpose once you’ve decided what you’re about.
All of that to say this:
Big moves require big actions. And if you want to step up, you’ve got to step out.
I’m at an age where I should have some things down pat. But alas, I do not. Here’s what I’ve been working on lately…
1. Sleep. Over the past few days I’ve tried to have my lights out by 11pm. I mean really. There’s nothing that I’m working on that won’t keep ’til the morning.
2. Diet. I want to try to do without sugar. Sometimes I even wonder about too much fruit. Even juice.
If I don’t have the will to eliminate the sweet stuff altogether, I’d like to at least restrict myself to one cheat day per week month. This should be an interesting struggle. Earlier this year, I was baking an average of 1x per week. Then, even after I had my stint at the gym, I still bought treats home with me.
I’d also like to lessen my salt consumption.
3. Exercise. It’s going well. But I need to make sure that I maintain a regular practice. I find it very beneficial. Not only spiritually, but mentally.
4. Spirit. I find it important for me to maintain my spiritual health. There’s something about praying and writing in my journal that soothes my soul.
In a nutshell, those are my latest preoccupations. Regarding #1, I’ve actually had to tell myself that I deserve to sleep at a decent hour. I deserve to be good to myself. The next phase of my life depends on it.
As you look into the future, what do you want for yourself?
Today 2012 is staring me straight in the eye. As I look back, I know what I don’t want anymore.
There’s a negative spirit that has been looming in my life. It needs to go.
I know that my admitting to having a gloomy attitude will come as a surprise to some of my friends. But I’ve got to be honest. In the past, I’ve settled for being pessimistic about my circumstances. And it has cast a shadow over me.
This year, I intend to focus more. I need to pay more attention to myself, and appreciate what I have been given.
The fact that I make my home in suburbia is more than a mere accident.
Over the years I’ve looked at the fact that I live in a small town with an almost abnormal level of sadness. I’ve actually wrestled with thoughts of being here as a
(Note the clever visual aid.)
I first took that photo sometime last spring. Back then I thought I was going to speak more openly about my life. But sometimes the courage to express one’s true feelings takes time to develop.
Sometimes my frustration has been understandable. Yet I’ve also come to recognize it for what it is. Although at times realistic–certain amenities are unavailable–my attitude has also been immature.
While in suburbia, I have done virtually nothing to broaden my horizons.
For the sake of my sanity, that has to change.
I used to wonder why my parents moved here before I was born. However a part of me realizes that I shouldn’t even care.
To paraphrase the wisdom in another, recent post: The time has come to quit whining about what never was, and work with what is.
