This project looks promising.
And they have a Kickstarter Campaign.
Archives for category: sexuality
Especially when I see videos like this one:
HT – MPT’s post – Christian Bears Teaching Abstinence
“I think that God wants you to question,” Shelby says, “to do more than just blindly be a follower, because he can’t use blind followers. He can use people like me who realize there’s more in the world that can be done.”
I want to see this film.
Sometime soon I look forward to sharing my thoughts on Hipster Christianity by Brett McCracken. (Thanks, Brett!)
One thing that intrigues me are the items and ideologies that people think fall under the banner of hipster when it comes to my spirituality.
Take this paragraph:
…one of the most popular—and arguably most unseemly—methods of making Christianity hip is to make it shocking. What better way to appeal to younger generations than to push the envelope and go where no fundamentalist has gone before?
Sex is a popular shock tactic. Evangelical-authored books like “Sex God” (by Rob Bell) and “Real Sex” (by Lauren Winner) are par for the course these days. At the same time, many churches are finding creative ways to use sex-themed marketing gimmicks to lure people into church.
Emphasis added. Found here, via Kevin DeYoung’s blog.
I can tell that I’m going to enjoy reading Mr. McCracken’s book. (A preview is available on the book’s web site.) However, I disagree with his take on some of the sex books that are published and marketed towards young Christians. I’ve read both Bell and Winner’s books. They don’t exist merely for shock value. They were printed for the same reason that I’ve decided to share my thoughts on their subject matter. In my opinion, if there’s one thing that today’s young adult Christians need, it’s an intelligent discussion of their God-given sexuality.
Posting something like the content of my earlier post is helping me learn something. In particular, following through with posting in the first place is teaching me about being self-disciplined in my writing practice.
What have I decided?
I’d like to see if I can make Sexy-time at the blog a 1x/week thing—on Fridays or Saturdays. I figure I’ll keep going til I have purged myself of all my thoughts, questions and issues. Or at least the ones I care to make public. 
In the meantime Lisa brought some excellent food for thought to the table. I hope to address some of what she mentioned in the future. To save you some time clicking, I’ve copied and pasted:
Well I think the reason lots of nouveau churches de-emphasize Christian sexual morality is not because they reject it, but as a reaction to churches that focus so obsessively on it that it takes away from all other aspects of God’s Kingdom (e.g. justice for the poor). The church I go to now is like that — sexual morality isn’t abandoned, but the MAIN focus is elsewhere.
All that said… I would LOVE to see a church talk honestly, safely, and *with grace* about sex. I’ve found almost across the board that the topic of sex outside of marriage is either avoided (esp. by the hipster Christians who don’t want to appear stuff) or discussed completely without grace (e.g. when people are written off as not-real-Christians the moment they have sex outside of marriage). I’d love to see a church develop such a safe environment to teach and discuss about this that that (for example): the experience of older members really teaches the younger members, women aren’t ashamed of their sexuality, a couple that has premarital sex feels compelled to seek support instead of lying about it, people reject the sexual objectification of women in the mainstream media, etc. I don’t think most churches are there yet.
Awesome stuff. Between this and some of my other ramblings, I look forward to digging in soon.
Prologue: Inside My Brain.
I am setting this post free in spite of myself. It’s subject to revision. I feel like it’s full of potholes and I have started asking myself questions as I notice things that I haven’t talked about. Even as I write this little prologue, I feel scattered. I also feel conflicted: I want to share my thoughts on this subject, yet I wish I had someone nearby to talk to re my point of view.
After much forward and backward motion eventually I realized that the foundation of my beliefs about Christian sexuality can be found in the most obvious of places. There are different verses in the Bible that I draw my perspective from. Hence, I’ve decided to share my take on them bit by bit, one by one. In this preliminary essay I’m speaking quite generally. I realize that in the future I ought to share important things such as where I’m coming from and (perhaps) exactly what I think people ought to be free to discuss both within and outside of a church’s walls.
I also can’t believe that once again, I’m re-writing as I write. But I promised myself that I’d have this thing out today.
*sigh*
The only other point of disclosure I’m going to offer before beginning is that when I speak of “morality”, for the sake of this discussion, I am thinking about male-female monogamous relationships. And this is written from the point of view of one who has an old-school traditional Christian perspective.
Now then…
I believe that morality ought to be discussed openly in church. From the pulpit, right on down to small groups. One of the main reasons that I feel faith has a place in the way we treat each other in relationships lies in this verse:
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 3: 16, 17
The Bible is not meaningless to me. I don’t aim to adhere to its teachings because I think of it as a catalog of fairy tales, compiled for man’s amusement. My passion is not built on a façade. This love is alive. I believe that the Word of God contains truths that relate to every area of our lives.
Yet many young Christians do not believe that the Word of God has anything sensible relevant to say about intimate relationships or the way that the sexes interact. I know this because people have said as much to my face. Meanwhile in some circles nothing is said to dissuade people from harbouring these notions.
In remaining silent, many churches are ignoring a prime opportunity. They have a chance to offer an alternative to the world’s noise and nonsense. However, instead many choose not to. And in a way, I get it. I know that it is easier to discuss certain issues such as being kind to your fellow man. Certainly these messages are more listener-friendly. (And just for the record, I really do understand. In my life, I am reminded endlessly of the importance of things such as the need to be merciful and practice authentic forgiveness.) However certain matters that ought to be discussed are ignored. And I believe this is done to our detriment.
A few weeks ago, I listened to one of reality‘s sermons via iTunes. The title was “Knowing God’s Word.” The pastor mentioned a principle that I believe wholeheartedly. When a godly perspective on a particular subject is not taught, a vacuum is created. And that vacuum is filled by whatever voice speaks the loudest. Or, as I put it in a previous draft of this essay:
When an entity such as the church does not offer an alternative to a wide spread perspective on an issue, some may assume that said entity’s position is identical to the norm that is perpetuated in society.
One of the reasons why I believe the church’s silence is detrimental is because I feel that when it comes to sexual morality, what the world has to offer does not serve human beings well. Yet congregants are falling for it–hook, line, and sinker.
There are people in today’s churches who are shacking up, hooking up, and screwing around. Not only do many fail to see problems with this behaviour, they don’t believe that there are alternatives to these patterns. And if there are alternatives, they’re outmoded and not that necessary, or only for when you’re willing to get “serious” with someone. (For example, marriage.)
I still seek reminders of God’s perspective on this issue on my own. (I find that I have to, for reasons that I may get into at another time.) But what about the ones who aren’t curious—who simply believe that the Bible has nothing to offer? On one hand, I can’t blame them. Who wants to get close to the fire? I mean, it burns. Right?
Yet if there’s one thing I’m learning, it’s that this life is a process of refinement. Trials and rules may sting. They may even be offensive to our fleshly nature. But they can build character.
I believe in the ideal of Christian morality because I believe that there’s a better way of doing things. Now, before you throw something at me, I don’t mean “better” in an arrogant way, meaning “superior”. I mean “better” as in something more in tune with the way the Creator made us. I feel very strongly that church-goers ought to have a safe forum to discuss the ways in which what they believe impacts their sexuality. These two spheres need not be separate. God is and can be there for us. In all areas of our lives.
By the way. Before I go: Do you remember this video? ( For some reason I can’t get it to embed properly. It’s from this post.)
In an attempt to answer the Relevant magazine article‘s question about why certain churches shy away from discussing moral boundaries, I think certain emergent [emerging? the terminology confuses me] churches are thought of as a refuge due to the fact that their modes of worship offer people liberty from the structure of the religious institutions of our parents and their ancestors. From what I’ve seen, it’s my understanding that these churches tend to emphasize relationships as opposed to religion or that other dreaded “r” word: Rules. Taking an obvious hard line about morality goes against the neutral live-and-let-love aesthetic that some post-evangelicals are accustomed to.
I’m not saying that I think churches should opt into creating made-to-order ministries. But I hope that they will recognize the ways in which this culture is failing its congregations and consider responding accordingly.
Epilogue: You see, now, when I re-read this in the days to come, I’m gonna take notes and try to recognize all of my own questions about what I’ve written, as well as any outright errors and what else needs to be said. Of course, feedback is badly, BADLY needed. Thank you.
Every time I try to get set to post my views on Christianity and sex, I think of something new to say, or feel drawn towards a new way of saying something that I’ve already said.
Hence, I’m going to give myself some ground rules.
Number One: I will post at least the first part of my position soon by Friday.
But from what I understand, there’s a bit of truth in this Onion article:
Desire to Ejaculate Moves Local Christian to Wed
A month or so ago I was visiting a website and checking out the comments under a post. Someone had written that students at her local Christian university were getting married just so they could have sex.
I kid you not.
Speaking seriously…It isn’t as though I don’t understand the desire for sexual intimacy. Or *ahem* marital sexual intimacy.
Somehow, though, I have the strong feeling that if students are doing this, so are adults who have finished school.
I found this little girl and think she’s absolutely adorable. Today, she’s a pre-teen.
As for my aforementioned desire to talk about sex and the church…
I cannot stop writing about this subject. There’s so much that I want to say and so many ways that I want to say it.
I was up typing ’til 3-something. Then when I finally woke up this morning, I started scribbling in a random notebook that’s on my bed.
Jesus be a good editing session.
For a woman with no practical knowledge re love/intimacy/relationships and how we communicate about them, I sure have a lot of ideas.
But I am noticing a trend in what I think.
Basically, concerning sex, I feel like some churches should go back to being a bit more like an old-school mother and less like someone who’s trying to be everyone’s best friend. Here, I nearly said “old-school Caribbean mother”. Yet I’m sure that every ethnicity knows this woman. Every ethnicity can probably claim her.
She is one who has worked hard, seen the world and its ways, seen how the neighbours’ kids get on…And doesn’t want her baby growing up that way. She isn’t afraid to tell her child that its poop stinks, even when all s/he wants is to hear that it smells like roses.
She is also willing to listen, forgive, and be her child’s rock.
I think we could use more good mothers, don’t you?
