This project looks promising.
And they have a Kickstarter Campaign.
Archives for category: single minded – thoughts
I don’t think I’ve ever slept so much in my life.
Not that I’m complaining. I’ve needed it.
As for ye olde blog, I’ve got a book review that’s about 1 month past due. It seems like small potatoes compared to the real work that’s ahead of me.
Dear Readers,
Tip #1: If you know of anyone who tells you that they want to get into teaching, and you keep noticing that their favorite thing to do is procrastinate, pray for them. (Or light a candle, send up positive vibes. I don’t care…)
Tip #2: Be wary of anyone who does not teach, yet somehow knows beyond all doubt that teachers have nothing to do during their so-called down time. They don’t know what they’re talking about.
Seriously. Over the years I’ve heard things that have been everything from hilarious to disturbing.
Kind regards,
Claire
As for a little self-reflection, I’m anticipating change. It’s coming whether I want it to or not.
I’ve been craving something like this for a stone’s age.
I’ve wanted something that would shake my foundation and get me out of my rut.
And lo and behold, here it is.
In some ways, it’s more than I imagined. Yet altogether just what I needed.
This next phase of my life is going to be all about maturity. Over the past month I’ve begun to learn about the importance of discipline and self-organization. These areas tend to be my weak points. In spite of my quiet complaints to friends, I’m actually looking forward to seeing what happens. There are certain things that I want out of life–*cough*marriageand afamily*cough*…Yet in the past whenever I’ve thought about the cost of those goals, something’s been nagging at me:
How can I hope to take care of anyone else, when I can barely take care of myself?
And if I dare to dig deeper concerning my domestic urges, I have to acknowledge another idea. It isn’t even that I think it’s wise to assume that I’m going to be blessed with those things one day. (Lord only knows what will happen.) Quite frankly, I’m seeking growth for the sake of self. In spite of my willingness to ignore world’s measuring tape, I can’t help thinking that a woman of my age ought to be far more together than I currently am.
Playing catch-up may be costly. But I believe that in the end it’ll be worth it.
Posting something like the content of my earlier post is helping me learn something. In particular, following through with posting in the first place is teaching me about being self-disciplined in my writing practice.
What have I decided?
I’d like to see if I can make Sexy-time at the blog a 1x/week thing—on Fridays or Saturdays. I figure I’ll keep going til I have purged myself of all my thoughts, questions and issues. Or at least the ones I care to make public. 
In the meantime Lisa brought some excellent food for thought to the table. I hope to address some of what she mentioned in the future. To save you some time clicking, I’ve copied and pasted:
Well I think the reason lots of nouveau churches de-emphasize Christian sexual morality is not because they reject it, but as a reaction to churches that focus so obsessively on it that it takes away from all other aspects of God’s Kingdom (e.g. justice for the poor). The church I go to now is like that — sexual morality isn’t abandoned, but the MAIN focus is elsewhere.
All that said… I would LOVE to see a church talk honestly, safely, and *with grace* about sex. I’ve found almost across the board that the topic of sex outside of marriage is either avoided (esp. by the hipster Christians who don’t want to appear stuff) or discussed completely without grace (e.g. when people are written off as not-real-Christians the moment they have sex outside of marriage). I’d love to see a church develop such a safe environment to teach and discuss about this that that (for example): the experience of older members really teaches the younger members, women aren’t ashamed of their sexuality, a couple that has premarital sex feels compelled to seek support instead of lying about it, people reject the sexual objectification of women in the mainstream media, etc. I don’t think most churches are there yet.
Awesome stuff. Between this and some of my other ramblings, I look forward to digging in soon.
Prologue: Inside My Brain.
I am setting this post free in spite of myself. It’s subject to revision. I feel like it’s full of potholes and I have started asking myself questions as I notice things that I haven’t talked about. Even as I write this little prologue, I feel scattered. I also feel conflicted: I want to share my thoughts on this subject, yet I wish I had someone nearby to talk to re my point of view.
After much forward and backward motion eventually I realized that the foundation of my beliefs about Christian sexuality can be found in the most obvious of places. There are different verses in the Bible that I draw my perspective from. Hence, I’ve decided to share my take on them bit by bit, one by one. In this preliminary essay I’m speaking quite generally. I realize that in the future I ought to share important things such as where I’m coming from and (perhaps) exactly what I think people ought to be free to discuss both within and outside of a church’s walls.
I also can’t believe that once again, I’m re-writing as I write. But I promised myself that I’d have this thing out today.
*sigh*
The only other point of disclosure I’m going to offer before beginning is that when I speak of “morality”, for the sake of this discussion, I am thinking about male-female monogamous relationships. And this is written from the point of view of one who has an old-school traditional Christian perspective.
Now then…
I believe that morality ought to be discussed openly in church. From the pulpit, right on down to small groups. One of the main reasons that I feel faith has a place in the way we treat each other in relationships lies in this verse:
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 3: 16, 17
The Bible is not meaningless to me. I don’t aim to adhere to its teachings because I think of it as a catalog of fairy tales, compiled for man’s amusement. My passion is not built on a façade. This love is alive. I believe that the Word of God contains truths that relate to every area of our lives.
Yet many young Christians do not believe that the Word of God has anything sensible relevant to say about intimate relationships or the way that the sexes interact. I know this because people have said as much to my face. Meanwhile in some circles nothing is said to dissuade people from harbouring these notions.
In remaining silent, many churches are ignoring a prime opportunity. They have a chance to offer an alternative to the world’s noise and nonsense. However, instead many choose not to. And in a way, I get it. I know that it is easier to discuss certain issues such as being kind to your fellow man. Certainly these messages are more listener-friendly. (And just for the record, I really do understand. In my life, I am reminded endlessly of the importance of things such as the need to be merciful and practice authentic forgiveness.) However certain matters that ought to be discussed are ignored. And I believe this is done to our detriment.
A few weeks ago, I listened to one of reality‘s sermons via iTunes. The title was “Knowing God’s Word.” The pastor mentioned a principle that I believe wholeheartedly. When a godly perspective on a particular subject is not taught, a vacuum is created. And that vacuum is filled by whatever voice speaks the loudest. Or, as I put it in a previous draft of this essay:
When an entity such as the church does not offer an alternative to a wide spread perspective on an issue, some may assume that said entity’s position is identical to the norm that is perpetuated in society.
One of the reasons why I believe the church’s silence is detrimental is because I feel that when it comes to sexual morality, what the world has to offer does not serve human beings well. Yet congregants are falling for it–hook, line, and sinker.
There are people in today’s churches who are shacking up, hooking up, and screwing around. Not only do many fail to see problems with this behaviour, they don’t believe that there are alternatives to these patterns. And if there are alternatives, they’re outmoded and not that necessary, or only for when you’re willing to get “serious” with someone. (For example, marriage.)
I still seek reminders of God’s perspective on this issue on my own. (I find that I have to, for reasons that I may get into at another time.) But what about the ones who aren’t curious—who simply believe that the Bible has nothing to offer? On one hand, I can’t blame them. Who wants to get close to the fire? I mean, it burns. Right?
Yet if there’s one thing I’m learning, it’s that this life is a process of refinement. Trials and rules may sting. They may even be offensive to our fleshly nature. But they can build character.
I believe in the ideal of Christian morality because I believe that there’s a better way of doing things. Now, before you throw something at me, I don’t mean “better” in an arrogant way, meaning “superior”. I mean “better” as in something more in tune with the way the Creator made us. I feel very strongly that church-goers ought to have a safe forum to discuss the ways in which what they believe impacts their sexuality. These two spheres need not be separate. God is and can be there for us. In all areas of our lives.
By the way. Before I go: Do you remember this video? ( For some reason I can’t get it to embed properly. It’s from this post.)
In an attempt to answer the Relevant magazine article‘s question about why certain churches shy away from discussing moral boundaries, I think certain emergent [emerging? the terminology confuses me] churches are thought of as a refuge due to the fact that their modes of worship offer people liberty from the structure of the religious institutions of our parents and their ancestors. From what I’ve seen, it’s my understanding that these churches tend to emphasize relationships as opposed to religion or that other dreaded “r” word: Rules. Taking an obvious hard line about morality goes against the neutral live-and-let-love aesthetic that some post-evangelicals are accustomed to.
I’m not saying that I think churches should opt into creating made-to-order ministries. But I hope that they will recognize the ways in which this culture is failing its congregations and consider responding accordingly.
Epilogue: You see, now, when I re-read this in the days to come, I’m gonna take notes and try to recognize all of my own questions about what I’ve written, as well as any outright errors and what else needs to be said. Of course, feedback is badly, BADLY needed. Thank you.
Contrary to an earlier post, I seriously doubt that the fact that a man does not dance could sway me, once interested.
Somewhere deep in my offline journals is a list. One day I got it in my head that I’d write up a treatise on all of the things that I am hoping for in a husband.
*sigh*
The first quality I listed was spiritual compatibility.
I didn’t stop at writing, “I want a man who loves Jesus.” From what I recall, I went to town.
I spoke of brokenness, of prayer. Of being able to feel comfortable at my city church.
Because in following God, I believe that there is no room for pretense.
Life is real. If I should ever be blessed with the chance to navigate these waters with a loved one, I’d prefer it if we were on the same path.
Weeks ago I found this article about Christian morality and the church. Lest you were wondering, I have already drafted a disorganized response.
Then, just now I happened to lurk on a certain web board.
*ahem*
The lot of you know who you are.
Someone had posted a link to this essay. I haven’t read it yet. Nor have I read the board members’ replies. But the person who put up the URL was seeking opinions on how the church ought to respond to issues related to sexuality.
I have a very, VERY definite opinion on this matter.
Specifically, and simply…
DISCUSS THEM. TALK ABOUT IT.
I’ll share more (hopefully) sooner rather than later.
Ignore the title. I’m not that blindly enthusiastic. I know that a good marriage takes work. In my day, I’ve also known couples who have served as little more than examples of what not to do when you call yourselves man and wife.
Yet the negative press that marriage has been getting is a bit much for me. The scales have been quite unbalanced. Much of what I read in the mainstream media makes marriage sound like nothing more than a few nights of good sex, followed by fighting, nagging, fighting, kids, FIGHTING, make-up sex/affairs, followed by D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
And then there’s the dissolution press: Pieces set to help you keep out of divorce court, or come out unscathed.
Still.
One day I’d like to be married. In spite of myself, I can’t deny it.
Here’s a great article about the subject. To see this perspective in print put a smile on my face.
I belong to a board that has a section where people post about random elements of their lives, relationships, and such.
The other night I was checking things out. Someone had posted about a friend. From what I recall, said friend had a man who expected her to change–lose weight, etc.
At the end of her post, the woman who wrote asked…
…what are the limits you place on changing yourself, not just physically, maybe even personality wise or career choice in order to be with a man that you really do love? While in most cases, it’s ridiculous to even consider, I do believe there are some situations, especially when it’s beneficial to yourself as well, to make some changes. What do ya’ll think?
There were plenty of common-sense responses that I agreed with. Yet I couldn’t resist offering my take on the issue…
The only reason that I could conceive of for losing weight would be my health. And as noble of a reason as that may be, I would have to be my own motivator. Not the whining or demands of my partner.
Here’s the thing that gets me…
These days some people are so desperate to hook up, they will settle for someone who is kinda-sorta what they want (50-60%) and try to change them–or be changed by them–instead of looking for someone who is a better match. (Say 80-95% compatible. I’ve left 100% out of the picture–something in me isn’t yet sure of the likelihood of finding someone whose tastes match my own so completely. I also seriously doubt that I want to mate with a male version of myself.)
Anyways…In the change process, people wind up extending themselves beyond the limits of who God wanted them to be.
(That’s my theory. I hear about it often…Meanwhile, hooking up simply for the sake of curing loneliness just wastes time.)
Yet who’s to say that if people just wait a little longer, they might come across someone who they were truly meant to be with. Someone who accepted them for their authentic selves…
Look. I won’t deny it. I’m a growing
girlwoman. In fact, I strongly believe that the next couple of years of my life are going to be…Interesting. But I’m old enough to have certain likes and dislikes. And there are certain things that…If I did them…Just would not make me me.I had a recent epiphany which made me all the more comfortable with the idea of getting to know me as I am. OP, it seems like your friend could use a similar awakening.
As a bit of an addendum, I wrote…
Seriously, I am…ME!!
These days when it comes to people-pleasing, I’m only willing to go so far.
It’ll be interesting to see in the future whether or not I change my mind.
Re the title of this post: If you’ve seem some of the covers of books that are marketed to Christian singles, you’d know what I meant…
Here’s a horribly biased post about gender bias in Christian relationship books…Currently, I’m still trying to work with books that relate to Christian singles. Or thinking about them, at least…While at work the other day, this came to my head…
The kind of volumes directed at single Christian men is interesting. They could almost make one wonder if women are the only ones whose hearts are longing for love.
Almost.
I’ve noticed a trend…It seems to me that there are two types of books out there.
1. Gender-neutral volumes that deal generally with a person’s single status.
2. Gender-specific singles/relationship books. And I would wager that a good 90% of these are geared towards women…The cover graphics alone can be very telling.
Being a girl, I find that the ones that refer to women tend to follow certain trends…
They tend to focus on certain aspects of relationships. Specifically, the notion that women must learn to cultivate a patient spirit and work on their own lives in order to be prepared–or not–for their prospective mate. On a serious note, one good book I can recommend regarding this issue is Lady In Waiting.
The men seem to be dealt the same hand, but with a twist:
Their relationship books seem to focus more on what I like to call Minding the Store: From what I’ve seen, texts tend to focus on how to avoid sexual temptation. Or, more specifically, how to fight off The Big Bad–Porn and Masturbation. (As if women never struggle with these issues.)
Which begs the question…Is there no middle ground?
Am I being pessimistic?
I’m curious.
Seriously.
If you think I’m being unfair, feel free to drop me a line…
