Archives for category: status report

No, I’m not talking about my post-exercise routine. (Hi, Lisa! ;) )

I’m referring to this entry from The Daily Love.

I’ve been thinking more and more about the future of this site.

I’m considering things like taking on a photo-dependent theme. On one hand, I love the idea because my posts will look amazing.

On the other, I’m scared because if I follow through, I’ll have to take or dig up a pic every time I find something I want to share.

In this way I’ll be doing what Mastin referred to. Stretching. In the end, it could be worth it. Even if the thought terrifies me.

(Yes, I have ideas that I’m not talking about. Never you mind what they may be….)

Of course if I start changing things around here…And I’m considering the bigger picture…Working on the blog will require WORKING on the blog. Consistent posts. No slacking.

I can’t help but wonder if I’ve enjoyed leisurely posting too long. It’s all too easy to disappear whenever I like.

1. A few hours ago (this post was written after midnight) I discovered something absolutely, incredibly wonderful…Purely by accident.

Seriously. It was weird.

Imagine going into the kitchen for some random food, only to learn that someone baked you a pie. But not just any pie…

Your FAVOURITE pie.

Now…imagine feeling that thrill multiplied by at least 1000 times. :D

I won’t offer any details just yet. But I’m truly ecstatic. It’s been a while since I’ve had something this big to be thankful for. A part of me feels as though I’ve experienced one of life’s wonders. I’m truly thankful to God for His gifts.

Here’s a song to celebrate.

*ahem*

There’s one aspect of this news that I need help with. Rather than tell you outright what it is, I’m going to take a cue from a post that I read on another blog, and ask you to pray without revealing any specifics.

Somehow, though…I feel uplifted and confident about the outcome of this impending phase of life. I will let you know how everything goes.

2. I think the spell has finally been broken. You know. The one where I write and work on bits and pieces and never submit anything?


Wha…? You don’t know…?

Well…That’s over. I’ve been wrestling with fear lately. And I think I’m learning how to give it a proper arse-kicking.

I’ve come to accept writing as my divine vocation. There are a variety of things that have made it very clear to me that I have to see it as my J-O-B.

I mean…I think this is something that I’ve always known. But accepted…?

Nah.

Our gifts were not meant to be held so tightly. Rather, I think we ought to give them away.

Or sell ‘em, if we can. ;)

The other day I told my cousin that I was going in for an emergency dental appointment.

Well. In addition to prayer, it looks like someday soon I’ll be turning to this photo for inspiration:

ryangoslingwisdomteeth

Source

Whatever it takes. Right?

Years ago a dentist told me that I would need to have my wisdom teeth removed.  I let it slide.

Alas, that advice has caught up with me.

People have started to ask about holiday plans. I’m actually going to see if I can have my surgery during Christmas break.

Anyone else remember this intro?

Just me, then? Ok…

*cries young-old-lady tears*

Screw fame. I want freedom. The kind that comes from personal liberation. I want the dreams that burn inside my soul to become reality.

Today’s theme is perseverance. Play this in the background if you want:

It’s as though something divine is pushing me forward, asking me to ask more of myself.

Little changes are slipping into my routine. I’ve recently started waking up to jog while it’s still dark. I get a workout, and I’m done before the rest of my day begins.

Ultimately, I feel like God is setting things up for me in a way that says, “If you want X, you’d better be prepared to Y.” That is, if “Y” equals “work my ass off”.

Still, the old demons are doing their thing. Fear and disorganization can be ruthless.

And yet everything is telling me to make way for the life that I want. All I need is the discipline to tear down the wall to get to the other side.


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Random thoughts coming through…

If writing really is my thing, shouldn’t I be posting more often?

Last weekend I had a blast. I was all set to share my adventures and then…Next to nada. Barely a peep.

But I tweeted like a mofo–if anyone actually cares.

In the meantime, I’ve been concerned about how I’ve been using my time. I have important things to do, and I’ve been procrastinating…

Interestingly enough, recently someone in my feed mentioned a quote that said something like “perfectionism leads to procrastination…”

I need to get past being obsessed with perfection. It’s all too easy to let fear stop you in your tracks. Instead, I’m going to hone in on authenticity. Everything else is bound to follow.

Because it was.

Seriously. This weekend I had one of the best times I’d had in ages.

(Thank God for good days!)

I experienced some fellowship and was reminded that there’s definitely more to my journey. I won’t share those details. But I can tell you that I was inspired by two very simple activities…

1. First, church.

I know I said I wasn’t going to bother attending any longer. Yet I can’t help feeling that I need to extend myself into my community. Church is familiar to me. I think it’ll make a great start.

My town has many places of worship. Yesterday morning I went to one I’d never visited. I keep thinking that I ought to spend time in another sanctuary before I settle down. However, I keep chastising myself.

I don’t want to play


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The truth is, I actually know of a place that seems like a good fit. And it isn’t where some people might think.

2. One of our family friends had a birthday party yesterday. I won’t disclose the exact number but s/he has lived to be over 80 years of age. I couldn’t help feeling overjoyed.

A long life is a blessing.

On a hilarious note I can tell you that I couldn’t remember how to get to this individual’s house. (It had been that long…)

I prayed as I walked. I was concerned. I’d walked down one long street and was making my way up another. All the while it was getting dark. Every time I passed a house where it looked remotely as though there was activity inside, I was tempted to go over and knock.

Finally at the last minute I glanced down a side street. A group of adults was crossing the road. They were headed in one direction.

Shy but determined, I approached. “Excuse me. Do you know where I could find [Person X's] house?” I live in an incredibly friendly area. You never know who knows whom. Or what.

The man I spoke to told me I was right where I needed to be. A weight lifted off my shoulders, and the joy began. :)

And though it’ll be a while before I can do laps in the pool, last week I learned a very valuable lesson that has nothing to do with aquatic survival.

Yes, this post is barely longer than a tweet.

That’s ’cause I’m thinking aloud. Hope to write more on the above later. Take care. ;)

You know that book? It’s a tale about someone who goes on a journey to discover his dream. But by the story’s end, he finds his heart’s desire at home.

Yesterday I went around my hometown and took pictures. After years of running and telling myself that there was no way I could be happy here…I feel as though I’m about to learn otherwise.

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

From this article.

I’m nowhere near the end of my days. Yet that post resonated with me.

When my time comes, I don’t want to be overwhelmed by a rush of “woulda, coulda, shoulda…” thoughts.

As it is right now, all of my dreams are up to me and God. I can point fingers in all of my old directions–I don’t live in The Big City, I didn’t get The Right Degree….

The fact remains that absolutely nothing is standing in my way. All that’s required is effort on my part.

I’m not being arrogant. Just honest.

All of the old excuses are exactly that–meaningless bits of air. Time wasters.

I’ve been procrastinating regarding a project of mine for months. It’s something I can create, produce, and publish broadcast all on my own.

So what’s keeping me?

Fear.

Somewhere deep down, I’m afraid of failure. But I think I’m even more afraid of success.

I don’t know why. A positive change is just the sort of thing that I need…

As for you, Dear Reader, I don’t know what’s holding you back. But unless your hands are literally tied, chances are whatever it is is just a bunch of meaningless mind-fluff.

Go forth and do what you are meant to do. Because more often than not…The only one stopping you really IS you.

What am I up to?

1. I have a copy of A Game of Thrones.  How and why did I get one?

Just consider it a collision between hype and my curiosity…

Many moons ago I heard about the series on HBO. (I haven’t seen it yet.)  I looked it up online and learned that it was based on a set of books.  Then few months back, I read on a friend’s blog that she’s reading the books. After a lot of procrastination, I finally decided to take the plunge.

Last night I only read a part of the first page. But even then, I thought, “Oh, crap.” Either I’m going to really hate it, or love it.

2. I have a few posts that are only halfway done. One of them is a comment on a controversy involving a big name in contemporary Christianity. Every time I think of posting it, I get cold feet.

Which might just mean that I was meant to share it after all. ;)

3. The usual struggle: I keep letting myself fall off the writing wagon, but I know that I need to persevere.  Nothing else will satisfy my soul.

I hear that Oliver Stone once said that “writing equals ass plus chair.” As bland as that sounds, he’s right. There’s nothing glamourous about writing. It’s work.  It’s lonely. And everything depends on you.  You have to remain dedicated, no matter what.

In the past I’ve mentioned wanting an MFA in Creative Writing. I kept thinking that I need to enter a program because I need discipline from an outside source. And that’s a matter that I’m still debating. In the meantime, I’m trying to do a DIY MFA. What I really need is to remember to kick my own ass.

Our local writer in residence has her writing degree. And hearing about her adventures left me debating its necessity. (For me, not for her.) From what I understand, the real work began after she got out of school.

As you may or may not know, I’m a substitute teacher.  Throughout my career I’ve had plenty of down time. The other day it occurred to me that f I’d really worked as hard as I could have over the past two years on my writing, I’d have had several books- and scripts-worth of material by now.

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