Jesus, losing my religion

Status Report?: Spiritual Renewal

Earlier this summer, one of the hottest musicians in the galaxy mentioned prayer in an interview, and I felt it.

When I first read Rihanna’s chat with Sarah Paulson, I was excited. I had just shared a post on meditation. Next on my schedule was prayer, but I needed a hook. Perfect timing, right?

Except it wasn’t.

Something was wrong with me. 

As a writer, over the course of this year I’ve had doubts about my skills. And as I looked at tackling spirituality, I felt more intimidated than inspired. The thought of writing on God opened infinite possibilities. Yet how can someone possibly quantify something that’s immeasurable?

Thankfully, not too long ago, I faced a genuine moment of divine intervention.

One day, rather than feeling a sense of intimacy with God, I felt overcome by the weight of an incredible distance. It was an odd, painful encounter. And of all the things in the world, while listening to a gospel track, I started to sob.

Looking back on that moment I recognize that I was pretty much the epitome of a religious cliche. But at the time, I felt as though a door had opened. I started asking myself questions. Was I dreaming, or when I was younger, did I have a more authentic spiritual practice?

Lord knows (no pun intended), over the past few years, something has felt different.

And so, back to my origins I’ve returned.

Mind you, as I go, I’m still discovering what this means. Yet the loss of people such as Rachel Held Evans has reminded me that there’s work to be done. In this political climate, the theologian within still wants to call people towards a more conscientious vision of Christianity.

Overall, I’m not comfortable with any form of piety that denies our common humanity. I really want to dive into religion and some controversial material. But that’s another post for another day.

And so, until next time… Here’s the last sermon I watched. Pastor Furtick offers a decent riff on the idea that man contains multitudes.

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status report

“Sunday Best”? How about “Best Sunday”.

Because it was.

Seriously. This weekend I had one of the best times I’d had in ages.

(Thank God for good days!)

I experienced some fellowship and was reminded that there’s definitely more to my journey. I won’t share those details. But I can tell you that I was inspired by two very simple activities…

1. First, church.

I know I said I wasn’t going to bother attending any longer. Yet I can’t help feeling that I need to extend myself into my community. Church is familiar to me. I think it’ll make a great start.

My town has many places of worship. Yesterday morning I went to one I’d never visited. I keep thinking that I ought to spend time in another sanctuary before I settle down. However, I keep chastising myself.

I don’t want to play


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The truth is, I actually know of a place that seems like a good fit. And it isn’t where some people might think.

2. One of our family friends had a birthday party yesterday. I won’t disclose the exact number but s/he has lived to be over 80 years of age. I couldn’t help feeling overjoyed.

A long life is a blessing.

On a hilarious note I can tell you that I couldn’t remember how to get to this individual’s house. (It had been that long…)

I prayed as I walked. I was concerned. I’d walked down one long street and was making my way up another. All the while it was getting dark. Every time I passed a house where it looked remotely as though there was activity inside, I was tempted to go over and knock.

Finally at the last minute I glanced down a side street. A group of adults was crossing the road. They were headed in one direction.

Shy but determined, I approached. “Excuse me. Do you know where I could find [Person X’s] house?” I live in an incredibly friendly area. You never know who knows whom. Or what.

The man I spoke to told me I was right where I needed to be. A weight lifted off my shoulders, and the joy began. 🙂

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