and now for something completely superficial

The Bachelor

Let me give a moment to something I love to hate. Reality TV. That branch of media that reminds me of a regrettable friendship. So many of us have them. You know…The person we thought we could hang out with, but wound up running from…Sort of like a misogynist who finds himself trapped in a Women’s Studies class?

Take The Bachelor. Please. Deep down I despise the show, yet remain fascinated by it. If you’re looking for a fresh take on an old guilty pleasure, you might want to check out these resources.

1. This post by Stephanie Simons made spending time on The Bachelor sound every bit as exciting as I thought it would be. The show’s producers love to depict Bachelor alums as happy people who miss their sisters-in-charms. However Ms. Simons’ account blows that belief out of the water.

2. If you’ve watched The Bachelor for a while, you might already know about Reality Steve. I don’t know who leaks information to him–whether they’re cast or crew members. Still, he’s a spoiler source with a fairly decent record–right down to who the Bachelor picks in each season’s final episodes.

3. You may or may not know that Jason and Molly Mesnick have a podcast. I’ve only listened to an episode or two of This Is Reality and it’s actually been interesting. It’s one thing to think you’re manipulated from start to finish when you watch The Bachelor. It’s quite another to have that thought confirmed by people who have actually been on it.

(Here’s a fun fact I learned from the Mesnicks: Imagine the amount of time that the Bachelor(ette) spends with their potential mate(s) on the show, then divide that by…Any number you like. I was shocked by the (guesstimated) figure that Jason mentioned. Indeed, it’s probably worse than viewers have thought. The rare, genuine relationships that are formed in spite of the producers’ machinations are a fluke. As a kid I spent more time with my teachers in a week of school than these people do during 7 weeks of filming.)

A system that’s doomed to fail isn’t a system. It’s sloppy. Luckily for you and me Sadly, the Bachelor’s producers seem to know that they’ve created one of the most delectable piles of muck in the universe. It’s hard to believe that they would ever think of cleaning it up.

and now for something completely superficial, I'm just sayin'.

Nudes you can use.

I don’t always have easy access to a mall with a MAC counter. Places like Walmart are closer.

Hence, earlier this summer, this video from African Export saved me.

For some reason, I couldn’t find the mauve or red shades that she mentioned. But if you’re a medium-brown toned black woman looking for a neutral lipstick, she used a couple of great options.

Here are my current loves:
Yes, I know that in this photo they look very similar. But when you see them in real life, they’re just different enough to be two distinct colors. 

On the left: Revlon 671 – Mink. This shade is an absolute nude match for me.

On the right: Revlon 135 – Chocolate Velvet. A slightly stronger brown. When I have it on it’s more obvious that I’m wearing lipstick. Still, it’s a great neutral shade.

In the past I’ve stuck with bolder browns that say HERE ARE MY LIPS. These two colors are a pleasant alternative.

and now for something completely superficial

MAC Attack: “The More You Know” Edition

In 2013, I intend to have a new life. One phase of my plan involves going back to school.

I’ll discuss what I am going to study down the road once I’ve been accepted.

In the meantime, I’m in the process of trying to take better care of myself. I have been considering my appearance. Somehow I’ve started working on a skincare routine. And of all the things in the world, the other day I decided that I should know how to put on a decent “face”. Beyond the odd venture into cosmetics, I’ve gotten the idea that I ought to make a consistent effort.

Christmas cards and gifts be damned.* Somehow, the other day, I set aside some money to hook myself up.

For foundation, my drug of choice is MAC.

Their products may be expensive, but there’s a method to my madness…

Whenever I try drugstore makeup I end up disappointed. Certain lines attempt to incorporate darker shades into their repertoire. Yet I think they do an awful job. And honestly? Brown #1 and Brown #2 are often either too light or too dark for my complexion.

Interestingly enough, this lack of variety isn’t a secret. I nearly high-fived a salesperson the other day when she recognized that one type of foundation, “…made [my] skin look ashy.”

But I digress…

MAC matches me almost perfectly.

And if, like me, you’ve got a casual relationship with makeup, you might want to pay attention to the useful part of this post:

MAC’s Studio Fix shades are numbered. However between their liquids and powders, their numbers do not match.

Let’s look at a picture, shall we?:


On the left is a bottle of Studio Fix Fluid. The shade is NW 43.

The other night I was looking at MAC’s web site. I wanted to replace my bottle. (Although it doesn’t look like it, it’s empty.) However, I had decided to return to my first love–Studio Fix Powder.

I almost purchased it. Yet something inside told me to check it out in person.

The next morning my mother went on a shopping trip. I joined her.

Here’s where things got interesting.

I made a beeline for the MAC counter at The Bay. (If you haven’t been to a MAC kiosk, they have testers available for all of their products.)

Immediately I rifled through the Studio Fix compacts. I grabbed one marked NW 43 and asked for a mini-sponge and mirror.

The second after I started blotting my skin, I was confused. That’s when the salesgirl schooled me in The Ways of The MAC.

“Powder shades are darker than [their] liquid [counterparts].”

At that point, she sprang into action.

The shade you see above on the right is C8.

Which leaves me with some questions.

I don’t know what MAC’s logic is. Wouldn’t it make more sense to have their product codes correspond across the board?

And if the powder and liquid are different shades, shouldn’t they have different numbers?

Perhaps MAC has some sort of master plan. But I fail to see it.

And now, pardon me. I have to go practice doing my eyeshadow… 😉

*The other day at the mall I thought about how selfish/broke/introverted I am. I try to remember to give to others. Yet as soon as I get some money, my first thought is about how I can use it to get something that I think I need.

and now for something completely superficial, Music

Christmas comes but TWICE a year.

So the other night I was looking at an episode of Castle. I couldn’t help notice that it ended with what sounded like a…William Shatner song.

Dork that I am, I ran to iTunes. Little did I know the REAL treat that awaited me. Check out the screen shot:

There’s something about good old-fashioned, bad-ass rock ‘n roll.

I don’t care how broke I am. I don’t care if I have to purchase their work track by track, month by month, ’til I’m 50. Just knowing that AC/DC’s work is now available for download is enough to make me smile.

and now for something completely superficial, education station

Kids these days…

Today I sat in on a class of Grade 9s. They were hyper, but lovely. Check out the response after I tried to tell a student that something he’d said was false…

Student A: That’s not a lie, that’s a fib.

Me: Actually, they’re both together, under [gesturing] a big umbrella called Dishonesty.

Student B: I have that umbrella. At my house…

Is it any wonder why I can’t keep a straight face?

and now for something completely superficial, Television

GCB, TV, and me.

I thought of a spicier title for this post, then felt compelled to change it. LOL.

So I went to church this week, and didn’t burst into flames when I stepped into the sanctuary. (More on that later…)

Although television has always been a part of my life, right now there are only a handful of programs that I pay regular attention to.

Big Bang Theory – I love this show for its all-out devotion to Nerd Pride.  That, and–sad but true–I see more of me in Sheldon than I care to admit.

True Blood – On only once a year, I catch this show on the down low.  (All I will say is that I’ve seen all 4 seasons, but I don’t have HBO. Or the series’ DVDs.)

Republic of Doyle – Once upon a time in Toronto, a housemate of mine told me she was an actor. I had no idea that she’d wind up on one of my favorite shows.

Seriously, though. Even if I’d never met one of the series’ leads, I’d declare everything on RoD to be utterly flawless.  I’m jealous of their writing staff.

And over the past couple of weekends, a new show has come to my attention.

GCB – You may have heard of it by its original name–Good Christian B-with-an-itch-es.

While its broad humour might grate on some people’s nerves, I think it’s hilarious.

Needless to say, folks like Newt Gingrich are not happy.

Yes, if the show’s title had named Muslims instead of Christians, a certain section of the Muslim population would likely be upset. However people who make this argument are missing the point.

I mean, really. Have the people who are protesting this program actually seen it? Do they have a sense of humor?

GCB does not exist to insult Christians outright.  Rather, it mocks a certain kind of Christian.

The arrogant ones, the pretentious ones.  You know

Kim Gatlin’s book inspired the series. In an interview, she once described a peculiar-but-familiar brand of church people–the kind of folks who use prayer requests as an opportunity to gossip.

Like it or not, backstabbing Christians exist. I think the protestors are upset not because of blasphemy. Rather, perhaps the mirror’s being held up and they don’t like what they see.