and now for something completely superficial, Food

Bodacious Banana Bread

Hey Readers!

I’m busy. I hate love my life. I miss writing, and in particular, blogging.

Here’s something I scratched up a while ago…


I keep scratching up notes for entries on my transition into small-town living. But I’m lazy too busy to develop them thoroughly…In the meantime, let’s talk about food!!!

For health reasons, I’m trying to keep off of sugar. Nevertheless, urges for my favorite banana bread keep coming.

Shortly after this photo was taken, my subject was eliminated.

Banana bread…There are ample ingredients in the pantry. The bananas are getting spotty….


Incidentally, how do you like your bananas? I’m only willing to eat them when they’re golden, with barely-there-green tips. After that, somehow, it’s funny…Once the spots start to come in, they are dead to me. Well…At least as far as eating is concerned. Meanwhile, in my head, the first thing that comes to mind is, “Banana bread!!”

In my book, there are two keys to making a good banana bread. Butter and sugar. Yesterday I was watching Oprah. (Oh. Shut. Up.) The show was all about food. Ms. O played a clip featuring Paula Deen. At one point she asked Ms. Deen what she would tell her health-conscious critics. If I remember right, she said, “I’m a cook, not a doctor!”

Dangit, Jim!!

Now, I’ve never posted a recipe. And to this day, I can’t remember who gave me this one. But I’ll tell you something. I thank the Lord and Baby Jesus* every time I make it.

Bodacious Banana Bread
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 eggs
3 cups flour
3 ripe bananas, mashed
1 tspn vanilla
1 teaspoon allspice
6 teaspoons baking powder

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Grease two loaf pans and set them aside.

As for your ingredients…

First, grab a large bowl. Use a mixer. Whip your butter and sugar into a frenzy. Add the eggs and bananas. Then, add the flour and baking powder.

Next, add the vanilla. And at last…

The time has come for you to have some fun. Here’s your chance to…Improvise.

I know the ingredient list says “allspice”. But I don’t have any allspice. Haven’t for years.

Instead, I use a combination of cinnamon and a cloves. And to be honest…I don’t actually measure the spices. But I do shake in enough cinnamon to season an entire box of Apple-Cinnamon Cheerios. I also add a dash of cloves.

Now…You can do what you want at this point, but if you’re messing with cloves, I should warn you–if you use more than a dash, you’re playing with fire. Cloves are kind of like love dancing nutmeg. Under the right circumstances, their powers can be used for good. But too much of that good thing can turn into evil. If you don’t keep an eye out when you’re shaking the cloves over your batter, it’ll be overpowered faster than you can say “haberdashery”.

And I suggest omitting the ginger inthe this recipe. Unless you really want to. Ginger does nothing for it.


So your mix is all together, yes?

Pour your banana bread batter into your loaf pans. Put ’em in the oven. They’re going to stay there for about a half hour. Be sure to give them a glance and poke them towards the end of their journey. Your banana bread should be golden brown.

Please don’t worry if your loaves come out with a crack on top.

If all goes well, your Bodacious Bread will be fluffy and moist.

And gone within minutes of leaving your oven.

*Once upon a time during my teachers’ college practicum, I met a fellow student named Nick. One day when he was overjoyed about something, instead of letting out a “Cool” or a sugar-laced expletive, he said, “Thank the Lord and Baby Jesus”. I never forgot the phrase, and use it whenever it fits.


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