claire.she.goes

Author: Claire

  • 31 Write Now: Face Your Fears

    Something in me feels driven to share a glimpse into what I’m learning as I participate in 31 Write Now.

    I had a really important revelation the other day. With every post, I’m facing my greatest opponent: Fear. I used to think that what I feared the most was actually my goal—being a successful writer. However now I’m starting to believe that what I’m really afraid of is being a regular writer. The thought of publishing something every day was intimidating at first. Yet when I do so, I realize that I’m looking my fear right in the eye. I’m daring to tap it on the shoulder and say, ultimately, that I don’t care. I have been put here with a job to do. I am going to share my writing every day. Even if only for a month. And I must not fail.

    I’m learning to be more transparent in my writing. I’ve spoken my mind regarding some of religion’s taboo aspects. The other day I presented a glimpse into my day job.

    It’s funny. A part of me wonders where I’ve been hiding.

    To tell the truth, I’ve been afraid of upsetting people who know me in real life. Yet deep down, I know the importance of perseverance. One or two of my recent posts left me thinking, “Well. This is awkward. But I’ve got to post something today. It might as well be the truth…” I have the right to set myself free. Whether I’m comfortable or not, moving forward with my writing is better than standing still.

    Knowing this truth about artistic freedom is changing me. In spite of the risk of failure, only perseverance can yield success. The 31 Write Now challenge has brought me back to the essence of what I’ve always wanted. To be a writer. Not only a blogger. A writer. Although blogging involves a form of writing, it isn’t the same thing as composing regular prose or poetry. The other night I opened Scrivener on my computer and looked at some of my offline projects. I felt like it’s been a million years since I’ve seen them.

    Overall, preparing and publishing content on a daily basis has been interesting. Here’s to another 3 weeks!

  • Elementary, Dear Claire.

    School’s out.

    So I can talk about it, no?

    The following is a creative non-fiction piece. It contains some solid memories melded with echoes of shenanigans that I’ve witnessed over the years. 

    Enjoy!!

     boyandbooksSource

    Dear Readers, lend me your ears and your sympathy. I work as a substitute teacher. When I first started, all I wanted was to help kids. Now, all I want is to run away.

    Years ago one morning I was summoned to an elementary school. I was elated. I figured a class of Grade 7s would offer a nice break from the teenagers I usually worked with.

    Before I arrived, my heart was filled with hope.

    Hope that the kids would like me.

    Hope that we would all get along.

    Hope that I would lead the students’ math lesson without breaking into hives.

    I arrived just in time. Carefully, I reviewed the teacher’s plans. Then I waited for her students to appear. I breathed deeply and thought positively.

    Yet in spite of my optimism, the kids weren’t happy to see me.

    “Where’s Ms. Stevens?!?” One of them yelled.

    I didn’t have a clue, and I actually told him so.

    “You don’t know?! Whaddayamean ya ‘don’t know’?”

    I sighed and got the class started.

    As the kids began to work, in a corner, a gaggle of girls giggled.

    “How old are you, Miss?”

    “Um, what…?”

    “You look like you’re 20.”

    I made a face. “Uh…Thanks?” I tried to look stern. I wanted them to know that flattery would get them nowhere.

    Just then, a paper ball sailed past me.

    I turned around. My eyes ping-ponged across the room. I couldn’t tell where it came from.

    I bit my lip and headed back to my desk. Paper or no paper, I was determined to persevere.

    Within seconds, my resolve was shattered by another unidentified flying object. I saw something shiny, then heard a clang on the floor. What was that? A penny..?!?

    “Boys!” Thinking I recognized the culprit, I shouted in his direction. “Stop throwing things!”

    I gave them my best death-stare—which I have since learned resembles an angry puppy—then looked back at my schedule.

    I wish I could say things got better. But I’d be lying.

    At one point, I left the room. I slipped into the hallway, looking for a lifeline.

    Friends had told horror stories about leaving purses alone with students. But I didn’t care. I would have given away all the fantasy-funds in my bank account if these kids would sit down and be quiet for more than two seconds.

    My mission proved unsuccessful. The two nearest classrooms were empty, and in the third the teacher was busy. It looked like he would’ve blown up if I’d interrupted him to ask for help.

    Dismayed, I went back to my room. I needed an Advil, and it wasn’t even 11 o’clock.

     *****

    After 3:30, I visited the principal. She blamed me for the day’s events. When addressing me, she actually used the words “Because of you…”

    Right. I’m the one who told Johnny and Jasmine to throw random papers and laugh as I nearly cried.

    I left, alarmed. And I never worked in an elementary school again.

  • I need a break.

    Don’t you?

    I joined Luvvie’s 31 Write Now challenge a few days ago. After yesterday’s post I decided to exhale. After all. It’s Friday.

    *ahem* 😉

    I’ve never seen Sons of Anarchy. But this video confirmed it…

    I need SoA in my life. ASAP. Sesame Street parodies rule.

    And here’s something for those who want to brush up on their classics.

    What do you get when you combine slang (including random bleeped-out words), comedy, and literature? Thug Notes!

    When I was younger, I read Jane Eyre twice. For fun. Sparky Sweets’ analysis slayed me. All I remember is thinking that Rochester was a pig for not telling Jane the truth.

    HT – The Huffington Post

  • Thank God for yoga.

    Before I begin, watch this video. I chose it because it presents the main argument(s) I’ve heard against yoga in one concise package.

    Now then. Let’s consider reality. I’ve been doing meditation and yoga for a little while. I’m not a pro. Still…A demon has yet to visit me.

    Among Christians I notice that objections to yoga are due to ignorance. And fear.

    Lately there’s been a lot of buzz about why people who are around my age are leaving the church. I don’t believe that they’re leaving merely because they think that it lacks relevance as an institution. Among other reasons, I think that people are fed up with organized religion because certain leaders insist on promoting ideas that are based on lies.

    I long for the day when religious folks stop wasting time on imaginary boogeymen.

    Hence, for the sake of this conversation, I’ll share a bit with you about why I meditate. (When I say “meditate” at this point, I’m also thinking of “yoga”. I once read that yoga is a form of meditation. I also know that some classes begin or end with it.)

    Do you know what it’s like to have something on your mind all the time? I do. I find myself constantly thinking–usually about more than one subject. The sad thing is that this often happens when I’m supposed to be focused on something else. And in all honesty, it’s overwhelming.

    In order to counteract all of this noise, I need a break. That’s what meditating offers me. It provides me with a mental detox. Practicing it does not ensure that I will be visited by evil spirits. Rather, it’s a great way to de-stress. When I pray, I’m still expending energy, outputting information. Meditation offers me the opportunity to take time out of my day and simply be still.

    Also, contrary to what others would have you believe, there is nothing wrong with focusing inward. Not if doing so allows a person to obtain a bit of balance. The act of practicing meditation does not mean that one is turning his or her back on God. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, the opposite takes place.

    Have any of you done yoga or meditation?

    What’s your favorite pose?

  • Natural Hair – Products: The Clean-Up Crew

    This is the end of the series on my haircare basics. If you missed my earlier posts, you can catch them here and here.

    Today I’m sharing what I use to wash my hair.

    haircleaningproductsHerbal Essences Hello Hydration – In June I bought the largest bottle on the shelf right before I started to undo my hair. (It’s over a liter of conditioner!!) Little did I realize that when it comes to taking out locs, the best thing for me to do was use either water, or nothing at all.

    Nevertheless, the purchase wasn’t a waste. I’ve always loved using Hello Hydration on my loose natural hair. In addition to cowashing, it’s great for detangling.

    I figure the size will save me money in the long run. The bottle is one point eighty-nine litres. I expect it to last me until doomsday Christmas.

    TRESemmé Naturals Nourishing Moisture Shampoo – Although I love cowashing, every now and then I use a regular shampoo on my hair.

    I bought this brand purely based on the reputation of its conditioner counterpart*. If it disappoints me, you’ll be the first to know.

    *If you type “tresemme naturals conditioner natural hair” into Google, a ton of search results will appear. Apart from Hello Hydration, TRESSemmé is the only other brand name that’s really been on my radar.

  • Marie and Me

    Well, not really.  Still…Let me introduce you to someone.

    A couple of months ago I tweeted @HowSheHustles. I mentioned 3 different leaders that I though the ladies should get to know. Marie Forleo is one of them.

    I first discovered Marie a few years ago via her dating book, Make Every Man Want You.

    *cue the sound of a record scratching*

    Now, now. Don’t be put off by the title. I almost didn’t take it home, but the content won me over. Truth be told, her book should have been called Get Yourself Together, Girl. That’s what it’s mainly about—getting yourself together and making the most of your life.

    The truth is that I forgot about Ms. Forleo for a long while. But I think an interview with Danielle LaPorte prompted me to visit her web site. Marie has gone beyond being a relationship expert, into the world of business. She offers female entrepreneurs great advice. Her focus is on service and authenticity. And fun. Her videos are always a joy to watch!

    They also offer some great food for thought.

  • Natural Hair – Products: The Style Team

    As mentioned in an earlier post, these are the gems I’ve been using in my hair.

    hairstylingproducts

    Oyin Handmade’s Burnt Sugar Pomade – This is an oil-based product. The packaging says it’s a “humectant”.

    Mind you, I’m not too sure about it’s moisturizing properties. The main reason I keep it around is that it smells like butter tarts. (If you’re Canadian, you probably know what I’m referring to. If not, I feel sorry for you. 😉 )

    Seriously, though. It smells amazing.

    My only caveat is that it doesn’t dissolve easily. Normally after I’ve rubbed it between my palms for a few seconds, some bits of one of its heavier ingredients (a type of wax?) are still solid.


    Qhemet Biologics Burdock Root Butter Cream     – My hair LOVES this stuff. It’s a moisturizing cream that has a very light citrus scent.

    The packaging says that it “Softens and moisturizes fine, thin hair.” This statement made me pause.

    Maybe there’s a secret black hair scale that I’m not aware of. But my hair’s pretty dense. And it loves this stuff!

    Some people say that if you have type 4 hair, you should use Qhemet’s Alma Olive & Heavy Cream. However,  that only worked for me some of the time. Quite often I felt that it was too heavy. If it’s too much for you, and you want to stick with Qhemet’s products, you might prefer their BRBC.

  • Natural Hair – Products: Homemade Hair Treats

    Since I’m trying to put more of myself into this blog, I thought it would be fun to do a brief series on what I use in my hair. I’m not a beauty authority. I’m just sharing what I’ve been using on my type 4a-z hair.

    After my locs were undone, I rounded up my old tools and products. I’ve been looking longingly at Honeyfig’s site. But I’m broke. And quite honestly, I already have what I need from them in the first place. (I’ll show you in my next post.)

    Now then. A lot of natural-haired women seem to have a spray and an oil in their cabinet. These are mine…hairDIYproducts

    Homemade Hair Spritz – Two of the main ingredients in a popular brand-name spritz for natural hair are water and vegetable glycerine. I bought it once purely so that I could say that I’d used it. Nevertheless, I remember that I felt a bit disappointed. I wound up spending a lot of money on something I could make from scratch with ingredients that I already had at home.

    Do you have a favorite recipe?     All I used is water, glycerine, and essential oils.

    Basic Oil Blend – I have plenty left over from when I was locking my hair. Thus far I’ve used it mainly on my scalp.

    It’s a combination of olive oil, castor oil, along with other oils such as almond, etc.

    I also used essential oils such as rosemary, orange and lavender.

  • More than moves.

    bellyfat

    I’ll admit it. I took that copy of Women’s Health home with me.

    How could I refuse?

    It looks like 100+ pages of fitness and fun. (And it is.)

    Yet from what I know about belly fat, it can take more than exercise moves to tone a tummy.

    I’ve been studying cortisol (stress related fat) for a while. It’s a hormone that can thwart your quest for lean abs.

    Here’s a post that offers further information, along with a fitness regimen that I’ve been considering.

  • Nudes you can use.

    I don’t always have easy access to a mall with a MAC counter. Places like Walmart are closer.

    Hence, earlier this summer, this video from African Export saved me.

    For some reason, I couldn’t find the mauve or red shades that she mentioned. But if you’re a medium-brown toned black woman looking for a neutral lipstick, she used a couple of great options.

    Here are my current loves:
    nudelipsticks
    Yes, I know that in this photo they look very similar. But when you see them in real life, they’re just different enough to be two distinct colors. 

    On the left: Revlon 671 – Mink. This shade is an absolute nude match for me.

    On the right: Revlon 135 – Chocolate Velvet. A slightly stronger brown. When I have it on it’s more obvious that I’m wearing lipstick. Still, it’s a great neutral shade.

    In the past I’ve stuck with bolder browns that say HERE ARE MY LIPS. These two colors are a pleasant alternative.